I’m partial to a good self-help guide when feeling lost or in need of guidance (whether that’s in life or creativity) and along the way I’ve seen the pay off – amazing experiences, great relationships, fab work opportunities, and even just general calm in was once a crazy storm.
Getting what you want usually seems difficult; someone out there has been doing it longer, it’s harder, you need XYZ to be considered – I say screw it. If you are serious about what you want, you need to take steps to get it (nothing comes without a little bit of resistance or hesitation, that shows you’re trying to change) and here are a few ways to get exactly what you want…
• Forget about what it is that you want
Sounds contradictory, but let me explain – if you are focusing on your want right now and it’s not manifesting, you’re probably doing it from a place of lack; ‘I want this but haven’t got that’ or ‘I want this but need to reach that first’ isn’t getting you anywhere, and you’re probably going to piss off a lot of people along the way with this attitude.
By forgetting what it is that you want, you can take it back to basics, which leads me to my next point…
• Work backwards and simplify
Let’s say for example your want is ‘I want to be Zoella and have millions of subscribers and money and work on my blog and channel full-time’, realistically your want is ‘I want to be successful and earn an income from something I enjoy’ so we have to work backwards and think basic in order to establish a clear path of what you want.
Ask yourself some basic questions and write it down, or do a good ol’scribbly list to get your thoughts out there visually – What am I good at? What do I enjoy? What’s my perfect day look like? How do I define success? Who do I admire? How do I spend my day currently? How you answer these questions is vital – if you answer from a negative POV then I hate to break it to you but you need to work on that first before even attempting to get the ball rolling. Be honest, let the words flow, don’t allow a limit and include even the most mundane of things like ‘I’m good at knitting’ or ‘I make a cracking sliced avocado’ because these little things can all help later on.
• Think of how your answers can help with bigger goals
Look back over your answers – can you make an income from anything you’ve stated, be it a skill, hobby, or something you just know you’re good at? Does it tie-in with your original want? Does it require more training/experience/work/outreach? If so…
• Make a plan!
Now we’re getting somewhere; you’ve listed your answers, picked out things which you can utilise and can relate to your original want (which you’re looking at in a much more simple view now) and we can make a more fluid plan.
Again, the example of being successful from something you enjoy is your main goal and not the end goal, as these days there is no ‘I’m at the pinnacle’ standard, so getting from where you are now to a place of where you’re like ‘damn this is going great’ to ‘DAMN this is even better!’ is quite easy.
What do you need to do to get to where you want to be? That’s all you need to ask, whilst also remembering things take time. Whether it is a percentage of growth per month, knitting 2 times more a week, taking photographs of your expert avocado slices or just remembering to take a break to keep balance, work your plan around you and your needs/views of success.
• Sometimes you need to take a risk
Whether it’s buying a piece of equipment that will improve the quality of your work, extra yarns or better needles, paying for a course or tutorials to add extra skills to your list, add this into your plans and see how taking a big step allows for better things to come!
• Know your worth
Say yes to things that scare you but lead to better things, say no to things that don’t add value or steal precious time, remove those around you who try to influence doubt or competition, expect your best and know how you grow is the best way to do so, and that any effort you make will teach you an important lesson.
I can wholeheartedly say that I’ve done everything on this list (sometimes in order, sometime by half) and it was only recently when I took myself seriously and made a push out of my comfort zone on some things that I really saw progression; your mind will worry, your body may feign tiredness, your peers may rise further, but you will be able to aim for what you want better and more focus than before. Go and start that knitted scarf business, become a pro food-stylist, or grow your own platform whilst managing a job and having the best of both (balanced) worlds – get what you want on your own terms, and know you bloody deserve it.
Lots of Love,
Some products in this post may have been sent for review or gifted, and will be marked with a * or c/o. All opinions are mine are not influenced by brands or companies. Please see my full disclaimer for more.