I’d like to ask more questions.
If I could step outside of myself in any given situation, I would tell myself to ask more questions and be inquisitive. As a shy, reserved and quite self-conscious person, I tend to be quieter in social situations because my mind worries too much about how I speak, what I say and whether I’m actually interesting.
Life experience is something I’m severely lacking; I didn’t go to university, I had the same group of friends for nearly 10 years before surrounding myself with new people for 2 years until I found myself with a significantly smaller selected group of people, who even then I still feel I stumble around. I never really went clubbing, I don’t find myself in many social situations surrounded by people I don’t know (or at least a majority) so I don’t find myself trying to ask more and become more invested in learning about someone else.
I want my confidence to grow, in talking to others, in articulating questions and feelings, and in having an opinion. One thing I’ve always believed about myself is that I don’t have any opinions; I would sit in religious studies or english lessons and let other people fight and debate over deontology or what Harper Lee was trying to metaphorically discuss in her words, because I felt too overwhelmed at having an opinion. I was unsure, I felt to judged, and if I look back I think I know where it stems from.
I’d like to interview people, not because I want to be a journalist or create a podcast because I still feel way to unsure and undefined in myself and what I want to share and create in the world to say ‘let’s discuss creativity or how awesome women are’ because I’m still to shy in myself to talk about it (I’m not outspoken or confrontational, more the bottle it up type) but I’d like to start asking people who I think are interesting questions about what makes them who they are. Even if it’s ‘why did you start a blog?’ or ‘why do you love this foundation?’, I’d like to ask people more questions so I get to be in the environment of connecting with new people or with people I know on a better level, to understand and feel relaxed around other people and in myself.
Also, I’d like to phrase my questions better; I think when I do meet new people I can either be too business like or too ‘ooh I’m socially awkward let’s talk myself down and maybe then they won’t talk to me’, and I think that’s pretty boring (you know what, I’m going to write a whole other post on this topic) because who wants to talk to someone who doesn’t seem to give a shit about themselves? It would be nice to enter a conversation, confident yet open, able to feel engaged yet not too full on and people to leave thinking ‘oh she was nice, she didn’t seem shy and I felt comfortable’ and for me to leave thinking ‘they were nice and I tried my best, I didn’t seem to shy and we both felt comfortable’.
I’ve had a few ideas of how to ask questions and why I want to, and watching others who I admire ask questions has got me thinking about how to connect with others, so soon I can stop questioning myself and find the answers I’ve been reaching for.
Do you think it’s important to ask questions? How do you learn about others? Are you introverted or extroverted?
Lots of Love,
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