No matter how positive your outlook on life is, there are times when people will knock you down and give you a tough time over things you’re doing in your life. It can make you feel a bit poop, make you sad, and make you want to retreat and question your life – stop. Don’t let someone’s view on your life or choices make you feel bad, it doesn’t serve you nor will it benefit either of you.

In times like this, it’s important not to let the things others perceive of your life take it over, so whether you’ve had a family member be critical, bad feedback on an essay, or you’re just feeling a bit FOMO or excluded from your friends, here are ways to pick yourself up again when people knock you down.

1. Accept their opinion, and then move on
This might seem crazy or hard, but at the end of the day what the person is expressing is an opinion of what they think your life is like, or what decisions you are making. Be the bigger person and acknowledge the statement and say ‘that’s an interesting point of view’. You’re not disagreeing with them, nor are you agreeing, you are just politely – but firmly and confidently – ending their stream of contrasting views before it starts to get overpowering.

2. Remember that in a week’s time, this will be old news
You’re not going to be 50 and still discussing the time someone said something nasty, or the time everyone questioned your career choices, you’ll have had too many awesome experiences since then! I know it seems like a big deal now but just breathe, think of what will make you happiest, and refocus.

3. Use their fire as fuel
Technically, this is the wrong way round, but their ‘firey’ attitude can be just the thing you need to ‘fuel’ your future path. Repeatedly left out of events with friends? Fuel yourself by cutting out the negativity and focusing on people in your life you – although you may not know – are always there to lift your spirits. Or have you been guilt-tripped into thinking your plans aren’t worthy? Fuel them by focusing all your efforts on achieving what you can and prove them wrong.

4. It’s not always their fault
Yeah, they may be the bad guy right now, but inside they may be concerned, unaware, or just programmed differently to you. Refrain from going on the defence and consider why they may be reacting or acting they way they are – people change or aren’t as in touch as you are, so dismiss their bad energy.

5. You can control how you feel
“But they made me feel bad!” They said something you consider bad in your mind which was also directed at you, but they did not specifically tell your emotions to switch from good to I AM SO DOWN RIGHT NOW. Yes, they may have been pushing your buttons for a reaction, but the less you give them, the less they can throw back at you. If someone says something you don’t like, remember you are you and you know yourself, so take a deep breath, count to five if you have to, and let yourself calm down before you respond – if anything, they might realise what a numpty they’ve been in the moment!

6. There is always someone to talk to
At the end of it all, there will be that one person or group of friends who you can turn to and voice your feelings to, and they can listen to you and provide helpful reassurance. One person’s view is easily cancelled out by collective support and love.

Yes, you there, you are fabulous, and no matter what the average Joe says to you, you are your own person and you know what is best for you. Sure, you can take criticism (the constructive kind) on board, you can listen and observe opinions, heck you can even see what parts of life find suit your needs best, but no one will ever control your mind, and no one will ever force you to change yourself to please themselves. Human nature, it’s a friend and a foe, and in this case it’s your friend because it’s helping you build a path free of resistance, so surround yourself with equally fabulous people who won’t dare to knock you down and help you become a better person with every moment.

As Shania Twain once said, “that don’t impress me much” so wave goodbye to negative thoughts, people and views, and let yourself rise from the ground and come back a stronger and more assured person. Go get them guys!

Do you frequently face contrasted opinions from those close to you? How do you deal with people trying to impose on you? What would you do to rise from the ground stronger?

Lots of Love,
Lauren x

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Brighton based Photographer, photographing your fave bloggers by day and testing the best vegan/cruelty-free skincare by night.


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