hey there everyone 🙂
i’ve decided that with the end of my education and all this free time i’m going to be having (wooohoooo !!) i should really invest in this blog and get everything flowing again; from fashion, beauty to just general ranting and updates.
i’ve had a bit of a hard time recently, i was meant to be working in london for two weeks but for difficult reasons everything got cancelled and i’ve had a real knock of trust.
however the experience has taught me a lot of things; not to dwell on the past – yeah bad things happen, okay, now move on. you cant use it as an excuse to not do things months later.
i’m personally also a real hoarder of money; any money i earn i keep and save a lot ‘just in case’ and i panic if i dip below £200 in my current account. but why do i even need that much in my account ?! i don’t pay petrol anymore, the only thing i pay is my phone bill and insurance, other than that i rarely ‘splurge’ and i don’t go out clubbing and drinking. i have all this money saved and im scared to spend it, it’s ridiculous !
i’m not saying that i’m suddenly going to spend my money on anything and everything but there’s so much i’m restricting myself with that i could actually be out enjoying my life instead of checking my balance repeatedly.
i read something in my favourite book – Eat, Pray, Love – today, and i’ve read this book every year, at least twice a year for three years and still things come through every time that resonate with me. today this passage really caught my attention:
‘A few weeks later, I am living in Italy. I have quit my job, paid off my divorce settlement and legal bills, given up my house, given up my apartment, put what belongings I had left into storage in my sister’s place and packed up two suitcases. My year of traveling has commenced. And I can actually afford to do this because of a staggering personal miracle: in advance, my publisher has purchased the book I shall write about my travels. It all turned out, in other words, just as the Indonesian medicine man had predicted. I would lose all my money and it would be replaced immediately — or at
least enough of it to buy me a year of life.’
now i don’t know about you but i think unless you are doing a job that you love, you don’t really want to be working in your current job. i work in retail and yeah it’s okay, i work once a week i’ve built skills over two years but it’s not what i want to do. i love photography, it is a strong passion of mine but even this has changed – i originally wanted to be a fashion photographer and i believed this for two years until i went to college and i found from my uni interviews and projects that ‘damn i can’t limit myself to taking photos of shoes for three years’, i loved architecture and atmosphere and helping display a message through my work. yeah if i had to take pictures of shoes i would but i like bringing something out in a subject and creating real power. my latest project was based on my own insecurities and social topics that many young adults battle – something i’ve only recently dealt with. i enjoyed how confidence and a new attitude came out of me, and how the images affected people in various ways. i have been considering photographic therapy for those with self-esteem issues or other issues and need to escape from their battles as i think i could really help others as i did myself and create really beautiful art from it.
i also want to learn italian. now i’m not saying this because of the book but hell i would love to have my life like EPL, paid to travel and explore ! i have also been looking into language courses in rome for 3-6 months, living and learning the language plus there are art courses on the side which would be fantastic !
i also really enjoy health and exercise, following a very healthy lifestyle and exercise regieme daily. i don’t really drink anymore and if i do i’m gone hahah ! i do blogilates everyday but i know when i need a day off. i do eat sourdough bread and dark chocolate occassionally but you need a balance of ‘treats’ to clean eating. i would love to promote this lifestyle to my friends, i think they would benefit soooo well from a week juicing or a change in diet, it’s really not hard at all and tastes delicious !
of course this all needs money and then comes the conflict ‘do i work more at my current job or get another job ?’ and i don’t really want to. i’m someone who sticks to comfort, i don’t like to change things but i know once i do it’s usually fine. i just have to really make sure it’s what i want. i feel my work experience fell through because although a fantastic opportunity, it wasn’t what i wanted to do right now. i have just finished college and i want to rest and enjoy my summer; i want to have fun and experience things and some people don’t agree with that but you know what, i don’t care, from recent revelations i’ve discovered this hidden strength in me that won’t let me be pushed any more and i will make decisions for me when i want to.
so that’s that rant over for now ! i’m going to be posting some more upbeat less serious things soon, i have a lot to look forward too this summer and i can’t wait to make this blog fabulous for you all 🙂
have a lovely summers evening,