|Polaroids by Cheerz|
Last year I wrote a post about friendship, and all my fears, worries and thoughts that came with it. It was wonderfully received, led to lots of tears and a little bit of healing in my heart that people felt the same (something we need to work on desperately as a race) but that they also wanted to help lift my spirits. It was something I hadn't felt in a long time, and I cherish it so so much.
As times have changed, I felt I should reflect how my experience with friendships has changed since last August; I have changed, so my relationships and emotions have changed (and let me tell you know, I'm writing this under hormonal circumstances so everything will be pouring out).
One thing that has made me ridiculously happy is the fact I had more than one friend attend my birthday party this year, which may sound a bit weird but for the last two years I've spent the day with my best friend Ellie and a few family friends, tucked in a tiny corner of the house with some cakes. It was nice, it was lovely and a valued it a lot because it was all I had, but this year I spent it completely with the loveliest friends (and the others who couldn't come because mid-week work life were sorely missed, so yanno, can I have another party so they can come too?). I can't say how the party went as of yet because I'm writing this mid-March in a state but I can tell you in this moment I'm so happy I get the opportunity to have a proper party with people who get me, understand what I like to do and hold no judgement towards me for anything. People like that are amazing. Update we played Cards Against Humanity and ate loads of food it was GREAT. Should be a weekly tradition.
Since moving, I've been able to see more of my friends and actually make new ones; a funny story which I'll always look back on is how I met Zoe - it was the 'first working week' back in January and a comment popped up on my blog from Zoe, and I recognised her name and realised (through stalking) that she lived 10 minutes down the road from me. So I reached out, asked if she wanted to meet up (because she was much more well known and loved than me online so RISKY SHOT) but she got back to me, and was so lovely in arranging to meet up. I won't lie in that I was excited to have a local friend, I actually knew someone near where I lived and I could have a social life. Jesus, the things you come to value.
We finally met up a few weeks later and it was crazy how much we had in common and how we matched up in certain things - I was sat in Bills just amazed and finding the situation hilarious, and now she's leaving which makes me sad because I've only just got to know her but I'm so happy she's gone off to Ibiza for the job of dreams, and I value every kind act she has shown me since - maybe not telling the cute cinema guy that I fancy him though, reason #25 I won't go to the cinema (I joke, it was funny).
The crazy reality that I can text Saida and say 'lunch this week?' if I miss her and hop on a 30 minute train, that I can nip to Brighton and photograph Jordan, that I can pin Elle down for lunch and a good ol'blog affirming talk-up, it makes me HAPPY. I have friendship freedom and I bloody love it. When summer rolls round in full and I can be out until 9pm in Central for dinners, meet-ups and generally living life how it's meant to be, I know I'll feel even more thankful of my move and the life it's brought me.
I do have friends I wish I saw more of, and I have felt in the past and recent weeks that I may be a bug-bearer to some, and it makes me feel like the annoying friend, but it's because I have this mothering nature to me which wants to check in with people, make them feel happy and enjoy their company. It's gotten better, and yes I still do have my whole 'I find it difficult to follow people on social media thing' and let me tell you, using Crowdfire to see your unfollowers and recognising faces is not good for your health, but that's also improving - is it not acceptable to be selective with friendships and who's life you want to interact and follow though?
Also, can I give a shoutout to Kanye West 'Real Friends'? Basically this post in 4 minutes of banging beats. Listen, such a tune.
Anyway, that was a tangent; as much as I have difficulty still choosing to follow, I still want to get out there and make new connections, friends, relationships, and I think I can safely say I know others and possibly you feel the same too. The need to reach out and make new friendships and grow a social circle to see just what wonderful people may enter your life and make it feel a little more complete.
Friendships: they are the wonderful family we choose.
What are your thoughts on friendship? Do you identify with these feelings?
Lots of Love,
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