I've always found my hair to be a source of change. Whenever I feel fidgety, it's my hair that gets designated for something new, to symbolise a need to be different.
My hair has been all colours of the rainbow since I was about 13, but some colours, cuts and styles have signified very prominent life events, which I only realised when I stopped to reflect on how my hair is now.
It may seem an odd concept, but our hair is one of the easiest things we can change that always returns to a previous or natural state whenever we dedicate ourselves to it. You can cut it short and grow it back out again; you can add to it with extensions, take away more with layers, or play with colours, bleach and texture depending on how you feel.
As I said, I was reflecting on my hair as it is now, and I thought it would be interesting to recap my major 'hair moments' and how they were a response to me at that time, because it turns out, each moment has been significant;
• Cutting my long straight hair to my shoulders on the last day of Year 6 - was meant to signify a new me, ended up going fluffy and frizzy because puberty. Cried a lot.
• Getting regular blonde highlights - I wanted to feel older and grown up at school.
• Dying my hair bleach blonde at home - rebelling my hairdresser and wanting to feel more fun and cool.
• Getting a massive dee side fringe and thinner ends - because I was wannabe scene but still had to maintain those girly blonde locks I'd been bleaching to death.
• Cutting said locks short - because I asked my hairdresser to 'trim the dead bits'. Have been bitter about short hair ever since.
• Dying my hair brown - because someone told me I was 'prettier blonde' and made me want to rid myself of that association before starting A-Levels. Felt grown up and mature af.
• Dying my hair blonde again - because BORED (and also it was ginger don't lie Lauren) and because it felt more like 'me'.
• Putting blue, turquoise, pink and purple in my hair, whilst also using silver shampoo - because I had a new group of arty friends and they all did crazy cool things so I wanted to join in/be a teenager/be tumblr. I was grey before grey was cool #hipster. But you could also say I didn't know how to be myself or who I wanted to be.
• Dying my hair brown again - because I went to art college now and wanted to be super serious and autumnal. Again, didn't know who I wanted to be.
• Can you guess? BLEACH blonde again - because it was all in the name of art yo (£50 for art)
• Dying it PINK - because I went to art college and I wanted to experiment plus it was for my final project. Took no clear photos of myself during this period. Have no idea if it suited me or not.
• Getting brown toner on it until it was dyed an awful plum brown with ginger highlights - confused, bored, hated my job, didn't know what I was doing with my life.
• Decided to grow ALL my bleached hair out - this was because I'd seen someone on tumblr do it years ago and decided that with removing people and situations from my life, I should remove any past links also. Being blonde was a part of the past which I wanted to leave behind.
• Cutting my hair short for months until Summer 2015 when it was finally bleach free - after 8 years of processing my hair, I was 'reborn' or something.
• Using hair-growth products to make it long again - because I regret cutting it short all those years ago and want to plait my hair.
Currently my hair is medium length, fine but easily weighed down, has one layer in it with a few crazy wiry hairs which I think are from stress (argh) and natural brown. Reflecting on that sentence, it makes me laugh - I get weighed down by stress, worries and problems all the time, it hangs limp or tied up because I don't know what I'm doing with or or my life sometimes, but I also like that I feel natural and more comfortable these days unlike a few years ago when I felt I had to be someone different, and just as I am trying to grow my hair, I am trying to grow myself.
My hair might not be as voluminous and strong, nor is it as visually bold or fun like before, but it's my hair and it symbolises so many different stages of my life that I forget to thank it sometimes. I simply wash it, pray it grows, brush it once every few days and then try to keep it out my face whilst wanting it to be wavy or nice or something, yet I love my hair, and I think that means I've started to love me more than before.
How does your hair reflect your life? Is your hair a metaphor for your life? Or am I just going mad and making nonsense?
Lots of Love
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