HOW/WHAT/WHY : WHY IT'S OKAY NOT TO TRY HARD

Thursday, July 17, 2014


| Don't become a sweaty mess, skip the stress ! |




Helloooo everyone !

Sometimes we come across situations where we are expected to behave a certain way; be it playing the best friend who wants to make other's day perfect or in a new job where you want to show off your abilities and earn kudos with your boss.

Juggling the tasks and enthusiasm can be difficult, but you don't want to look uninspired or unhelpful so you keep going on to make sure you reach the standard set. But is the standard one from your friends, family or boss ? Or is it by you, setting yourself up for some enormous task and portrayal that is too hard to reach daily ? Let me tell you (and myself) why it's okay not to try so hard.

As Monica Geller once said after trying to impress Rachel's mum, "Oh my god ! My ass is sweating !" Now I think this is a pretty extreme case, but I myself have gone out of my way to impress and please others - I think I'm a natural people pleaser yet it can lead to difficulties and upset. So many times I've bent myself over backwards to fit other schedules, to keep up politeness and interest in affairs, and worked myself into the ground to achieve a grade or position in someone's eyes only to come out exhausted, disappointed and without some exciting memories.

There obviously are instances where you do need to put in effort - for instance, running this blog full-time. I don't get paid for what I do which would be seen as the 'disappointment' yet I enjoy every second of it. You may also have started a new job or internship and you want to impress your superiors with your skills and great approach to tasks, just don't forget you may be pushing the boat out for more and getting a bit less in return.
Most internships now are unpaid and are great experience, yet essentially you are just doing work for free when they are bogged down and that's fine if you know what you've signed up for. What you shouldn't do is completely grip your desk, frustratingly trying to finish your tasks efficiently to show how quick and clever you are.
With this in mind we must find balance, so to all my fellow interns out there, here's a small reality check :
If you are good at what you do, and you take time to make the best piece of work you can out of your tasks, your employer will love you. Okay not love but they will really appreciate you understood what they wanted. Over time you will build skills and connections with your employer and in a few months time when you have the option to stay or go to a new job, your CV and recommendations will show that you created quality work with a great understanding of your position minus a couple of breakdowns along the way. We are human, we make mistakes, just don't make a self-imposed regime be one of them.

Effort is also required in friendships and relationships, no matter how naturally they form you still need to give some attention. With a best friend, girlfriend or boyfriend you are expected to bring a certain amount of work to the table whilst expecting the same in return, but what happens when you expect too much ?
I can only speak from experience but when I'm someone's best friend, I know I am to be at their beck-and-call when they need help/advice/a shoulder to cry on/a good laugh/a night in relaxing; I'll speak to them everyday, make sure they're happy and that they know I'm there to listen; I'm there to make inside jokes, gossip about boys and go off gallivanting last minute to town or the beach. In return, I've only ever wanted the same which I think is fair, but over time you may lose the connection you had and find it harder to keep in touch which can be upsetting. You can try here to make it work, but if it's proving more work than it's worth then it's okay to stop trying. It may be hard emotionally to accept this at first, but you haven't gone anything wrong, we all naturally change as we grow. Just don't try to make out a relationship or friendship is something it no longer is and you'll be okay.

Maybe you could take this post as a small 'get-out-of-jail' card to just be a bit selfish now and again which is completely healthy, but the key thing to remember is that you can be the best friend and not expect it to all be perfect - maybe you are a planner and your bestie isn't, don't get disheartened that they're late or change your plans, you will learn to just do what you want to do until they wonder where you are which is always nice. Also, it's okay to take your time to build up repertoire at work whilst still working to a good quality standard, no one ever expects you to get it right first time or to come in guns blazing - even Beyonce had to work slow and steady to get to the Queen status she is today !

So remember, don't get a sweaty ass trying to please others and reach a standard only have you have set yourself, it will only make your boss think you're a bit weird.

Are you an over-worker ? Have you tried too hard at something before and now regret it ?
Lots of Love,
Lauren x


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